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Is it rude to say NO when a non-client or friend wants to pick your brain for free?

Posted on: February 6, 2018

I wanted to reach out STAT and check in with you about BOUNDARIES!

Have you ever felt like it was difficult to set a boundary with a follower, or maybe even a friend or family member, when it comes to sharing your expertise that your clients are already paying you for?

Does it feel tricky to know when it’s OK to say NO?

If so, you’re not alone. 

I can’t tell you how many times I bring up this topic with colleagues, friends, and clients.

As entrepreneurs, what we want so badly is to make change, and help people, right?

So if that’s true, how is it ok to say no sometimes when someone needs your help?

Here’s my take, short and sweet, that I hope will be helpful.

The truth is, that it IS awesome to say YES, when you can AND when it feels really great and genuine to you.

But there’s nothing worse than feeling obligated to help someone while you’re running on empty, out of time and energy, and you’re pissed or grumpy about it, AND, once you do say yes, without any exchange (some payment for your efforts), it’s a message that you’re available for more. 

I’ve seen lots of clients, working their buns off to get their business to profit, expending time, money, and TONS of energy, and then, when they are exhausted without much to give, say yes to asks that they simply don’t have it in them to give.

AND, when you’re looking to have a business that works, and profits, you have to make choices, because until the resources are in the right place and you’re profiting, it’s hard to continue to extend yourself.

NO boundaries is not a healthy thing. Everyone needs them. When you take care of you, you’ll have so much more to give.

You can’t give what you don’t have, right?

People often ask me how I have the energy to support the number of clients that I support. The answer? I don’t do it all, and I have boundaries. I’m not afraid to say no and take care of myself so that I can show up full force!

So, it’s always up to you, and when it feels good and like you have extra resources to spare, go for it! 

But be clear just how much you have to give from the beginning, for example) “Hey so and so, I usually reserve these types of questions for my clients, but I’d love to help you out. I’ve got time right now to take you this far, sound good?”

And the response that feels best to me often sounds like this, 

“Hey there, thank you so much for reaching out, I’m humbled and honored that you thought of me and I would love nothing more than to lend a hand!

However, I so hope you understand, but with my current calendar, I’ve promised myself that I would commit to my boundaries around this and reserve these questions for my paying clients, so that I can deliver what I’ve promised to them, and then with my extra resources of time and energy, to be available to my family, as those are my main priorities right now. 

Again, I hope you understand, and I’m sending you some content on this subject because I think it’ll be super helpful!

All my love,

M”

Thoughts?

I hope this gives you some peace, so that you can do what you need to do, to keep growing so that you CAN support and more and more people who need your help!

Being an entrepreneur isn’t always easy, and it takes guts to make choices and move forward.

Believing in YOU,

Mel <3

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